As young girl’s many of us dreamed of growing up having the fairy tale wedding, the white pickett fence house, the hubby and children. But as you grow up the reality for many of us isn’t so walt disney! As women we face the decision to either have children early or late, chase our career, wanting the perfect man, have a car,own your house, it all begins to feel like a lot of pressure and expectations. Is it wrong to want it all? Not everyone aspires to have kids or even get married, but often as woman we feel a sense of pressure, this can be for numerous reasons. But a major key is age, feeling like your hitting your expiry date. I know when speaking with other women they often speak about conversations where they have mentioned their age and that they don’t have children, and how they are asked why not as if it’s a disease! For those of us that are 25 plus at this stage we often see a lot of friends, family, co-workers getting engaged or married. In some cultures once a woman is getting into her late 20’s there is an added pressure from parents & family members to why there is know potential husband and kids. But why are women valued by marriage and children?
Life works out differently for us all but it is hard at times to balance everything. Being a mum, a wife /girlfriend, working, studying, experiencing life, and not loosing yourself in the process. Although as you get older you learn to distinguish between what is important and prioritise things, living in modern society is challenging due to the cost of living and property prices, it’s not always a simple choice. More woman are chasing their careers and having children late in age. Even for many celebrities such as Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Halle Berry & JLO have had children later in life.
We are in the digital age, everyday we see images of celebrities with their instant snap back post baby bodies, women with so called “perfect bodies.” It can add insecurities to many of us, but you have to remember people put up what they want us to see, which is often air brushed pictures.There is nothing wrong with keeping yourself well groomed,but I feel we should feel comfortable to have down days. Real women have stretch marks, are not dolled up 24/7 and gain weight from time to time. Men are lead by what they see and ideally a lot of men want to look at someone appealing, and there are a lot of women who spend there time being what they think men want them to be. Don’t get me wrong getting dolled up is not bad and not always for yourself, an element is also the attention/compliments you gain, which does boost ones self esteem. However you can’t help sometimes feel the pressure of looking good and keeping your body tight, when that’s all you see!!
So what do we say to the younger generation of girls growing up today? Do we tell them to chase their careers and buy a house? Get married before children? It’s bad enough that even in 2016 women are still not getting equal pay to their male counter parts although in the same job role. I remember the Spice Girl era growing up empowering women to be free and promoting girl power. Although many things have changed over time and many feminist groups are doing great things for women all over the world,even those who don’t have a voice. But as a modern day women I still feel pressured to live up to the standards of society, even though I have chosen to follow my own happy,at times there is a sense of failure due to not hitting particular expectations. But my main focus is to not compare my lane to others but to keep reminding myself how far I’ve come and setting goals short and long term to keep focused.
The battle is daily,but remember you are unique, an original and must do what brings you peace, and happiness. There is know perfect and right way, just YOUR WAY!!