Know one likes to be around negative people or energies, but when I hear people say that “you should only surround yourself with people that will lift you higher,” I have to question their statement. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to grow and gain from relationships, whether work related, family & friends, a partner, even in business. However you may have a friend who needs you more than you need them. Let me break it down, I am a very driven person, so naturally when I converse with people I often find myself motivating them as I like to push people, especially when I know we all have so much potential in life. But how do you know when to separate yourself from a toxic relationship? When is it time to let that friendship go? What if the person really needs you? Well the main question you have to ask yourself is, “Does this person drain me to a point where I am no help to myself and them”!? That is the point where distance is required, it goes over and beyond a ‘I’m not in the mood’ kind of day. But always having to mentally, physically & emotionally prepare yourself  to deal with that person, it’s almost like a full time job!

With any good relationship you have to put in, whether it’s time, money, consistency, love, support, commitment, loyalty, the list goes on. Good relationships come at a price, this means compromise, understanding, forgiveness, trust, to name a few. But are we in a era where people  want perfection even though they are not perfect themselves?


The definition of a good relationship in any context is an individual perspective. However anyone that is in your life needs to add some form of value. Gain can be defined differently, someone may like to help someone out for companionship, just to have someone to talk to. You may do a act of kindness for personal rewards such as feeling good about yourself. But someone who drags you down a wrong path or is always negative towards you or your journey, is someone questionable. At the end of the day sometimes we must all exhaust relationships to our own limit in order to know when to move on. But also learn from past experiences and others around you, know that everything is not always a test. We have to love ourselves enough to know when someone is dead weight and not necessary or deserving to be in our lives. This doesn’t mean go ham and cut everyone off, but differentiate between  a user and a genuine relationship.

Always appreciate and value those who are such blessings and supporters of our lives daily. Be grateful for the positive impact of others and the time out they take for us. Remember to do the same to others without always expecting something in return. Although on social media #Relationshipgoals come across as being boo’d up, but my take on it is just having  organic bonds with others and maintaining them out of love and also reaping the benefits of  growth, knowledge, experiences and happiness it brings. Even a bad experience has a relationship goal, to not go there again but to learn from it!



Author: Sherisha